Why you should ask God for the wrong man/woman

There is so much talk about finding the perfect mate in life. I have watched movies and heard stories of happily ever after marriages. Most of these stories always end when both parties get married and flowers are thrown up in the skies on their wedding day. There is a TV program in South Africa called “Our Perfect Wedding” with thousands of viewers weekly glued to their TV sets to catch a glimpse of that perfect wedding. However, none of these stories actually continue when they have spent a few year together. I wished they made a program called “Our Perfect Marriage” where those who have been married for more than 10 years get to tell their stories. I bet you, it is not going to be the flowers in the air and the dancing bridesmaids. When the snow has dried, the wedding bells have stopped ringing, that is when the real marriage starts. The stories should have started there and not end during the wedding ceremony.

Sometimes we try to conform to what our spouses are in an effort to be accepted by them, but the greatest thing that can ever happen to a man or a woman is to find someone who is different from him/her. If you are single, and you have been asking God to find you someone who is exactly like you, you may want to change your prayer request after reading this readnlive for today. I have been blessed to marry someone who is different from me. We actually complement each other in many respect. I rejoice whenever I listen to my wife prays differently from the manner in which I pray. When she hangs her clothes on the hanging line in a different manner, it makes me happy to watch. The

A lady approached me and asked me to advise her regarding her husband because it appeared that her husband and her were two different people and she would want her husband’s heart to be changed and become like hers. I looked at her and told her that I see the marriage lasting for a long time and she needs her husband to bless her. I then told her that I would be very worried if her husband was exactly like her. Some of you are asking why? Let me show you something from the word of God.

Ephesians 5:24-26 : Now as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,…

I know that numerous sermons have been preached on this section of the Bible. This passage of scripture is used like a whip to whip believers to order. But this passage of scripture is not about submission or discipline as it may seem. This passage of scripture defines the marriage institution. It categorises marriage as a Church, the body of Christ. You remember how Jesus came to earth and died and he said the Church was His body? Yes, this verse says marriage is a “mini-Church”. Here is the verse that will change everything you ever knew and thought about marriage.

Romans 8:28-29 :  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom He did foreknow, He also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.

I am sure many of you are familiar with the first phrases of this passage of scripture, but let me take you down one more verse (verse 29) and link it to the previous scripture. This passage says that those that God foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, Jesus. So we now know that God created us to be conformed to the image of His Son who was the firstborn from the dead and we are next.

In order for us to conform and be become like Christ, God created marriage as a vehicle to help us become more like Christ and less like ourselves. How is this possible? It is very simple. Have you realised that sometimes you might have a weakness and you ask God for a husband that will strengthen you in that weakness but you get married to someone who has a worse form of your weakness? I was contacted by a lady who told me how she was quiet and didn’t talk much at home. She got married to a man with the hope that the man would encourage her and build her up, but it turned out that this man cried too much at home. The man was not only timid but he was a “crybaby” and he would cry profusely in any family disagreement. She married the opposite person of what she prayed for. Why did this happen? Here is the reason –  How would a woman learn to love unconditionally if she wants her husband to meet all her conditions before she can love him? Some women learned how to show unmerited favour (grace) by loving their husbands and caring for them despite their weaknesses. This is conforming to Christ and living a life full of grace like Christ.

The Bible says Jesus Christ was full of compassion and went about doing good. How will a man ever learn to be compassionate if the things that his wife is going through means nothing to him? If you can’t learn to bless your husband and pray for your husband when he does something wrong or offends you, how will you pray and love your enemies? 

Hopeless bride crying outside a church after being stood up on her wedding dayMaybe you are not really going through a difficult marriage after all. Maybe, just maybe, that relationship which you think is very difficult, is conforming you to become more like Christ because God wants to use you to take over the world. Maybe you need to rejoice whenever you feel that you married the wrong person because you have signed-up yourself as a candidate for greatness. I submit to you that those who cannot conform to His Son, will not be chosen by Him to be stewards of His blessings. God blesses a man or woman to the degree that he/she is willing to conform to His Son Jesus.

Pray this aloud:

Father I now know why you chose this spouse for me. I am happy that I am being conformed to the image of your Son in my marriage. I am destined for greatness and You have used this marriage as my preparation field. I trust every word that comes out of the mouth of your Pastors. I am growing day by day in the mastery of the things of the kingdom. Create in me a new heart and give me a renewed purpose in my marriage in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.


If you have prayed this prayer write to us and we will pray for you and send you materials that will bless you.

By @PastorRan

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s